In My Husband's Opinion -Tips on Dating a Thai
This post is for all the non-thai people (farangs) looking at seriously dating a thai lady.
First of all a small introduction is due, as I am only a guest blogger to this site. My name is Roger Molina, I am a Filipino born, Australian raised Millennium that courted, dated and married the beautiful Thai Migration Agent that runs this website, Anna Molina. So I wanted to write this segment to help potential suitors of thai women, or perhaps gentlemen who are currently dating a thai lady.
This is by no means a comprehensive list but here are some of the things I picked up:
Tip #1 Understand that no matter what the nationality, a lady is a lady, so treat her as such.
What do I mean by this? Well regardless of a lady's ethnic background, there are a few things that all women who are looking for a life partner are after. That is respect, care, love, acceptance and commitment. This is universal, no matter what the "bad boy" playboys out there say, if you want a lady treat her like a lady, if you want a bad girl then treat her bad.
Tip #2 Be a Gentleman
This one also seems like a generic statement that applies to all ladies, however, what it means to be a gentleman in Thai culture is different to what maybe considered acceptable in Western Culture.
This is because Western Culture has, for what many people have coined changed and has become more liberal and accepting, but in all of it's glory, the act of being a gentleman has changed. Because heroes and examples, have been set in media and propaganda to shift the perception of most to readily accept that manners are outdated and a sign of meekness and weakness.
This is not the case in Thai Culture, because despite many now being immersed in influences from Western culture, the upbringing of the traditional Thai lady has been one in which that displays of affection that are kept subtle and refined such as opening doors, limiting the use of profanities, composing one's self in order to maintain proper public image are seen as desirable traits.
This is because Thai have a social culture, so if a Thai lady is dating someone who cannot conduct himself in a social environment and present a gentleman's image then they appear to friends and family as not being loved and a lack of trying to adhere to this sends signals to them that they are not being loved. So even if it is not natural for you to be the perfect gentleman, and your more of the average Aussie bloke, at least try so that your mrs and her friends/family can see.
Trust me this one took me a bit of getting use to as well :)
Tip #3 Care about her family and friends
Asian culture and in particular Thai culture, leans more towards a strong collective orientation as oppose to the good all Aussie battlers individual notion of culture. Because of this Thai ladies have strong family and squad (friends) ties. So when you date a Thai lady seriously you are also in a sense dating her friends and family.
In Traditional Thai culture, it was seen as strange or inappropriate, for a man and woman to spend time together alone unless they were seriously dating, it was more common for men and women to go out on group outings and develop romantic relationships with someone within that group. So it is not uncommon for shy Thai girls to ask if they can bring friends with them on your first date or meeting.
While, this has changed a little bit and Thai ladies have become more open to date one on one, because of their strong ties to groups you need to keep in mind that your partner will tell her friends about it and their opinion of you counts. So if you are introduced to her friends, make sure you leave a good impression, be courteous, respectful, be a genuine friend to them, that way they will not be a roadblock or a thorn in your relationship with your lovely Thai gf.
The same goes with family, if a Thai lady introduces you to her family, then she is serious about the relationship so well done. But, do not blow it! If you think being down with the friends is enough, it is not. Her family are her tightest social group, make sure that you integrate well with them, they have the most influence on her decisions and it can be a deal breaker if you have issues with them.
Tip # 4 Love her Culture and Country
Another thing to note about Thai culture is that Thai's love their culture and have pride in their country. They have a rich culture history, the longest running monarchy in the world, arguably the best food in the world and if your reading this some of the most stunning and amazing women the world, so why wouldn't you be proud of it. Unfortunately, many a westerner, travel to Thailand to exploit the less fortunate and as such see it for nothing more than a place to pick up gold diggers, gogo dancers and lady boys. This mindset is not the mindset to hold if you want to seriously date a Thai lady. In fact most Thai ladies are ashamed of such conduct and as such if you are dating a thai lady do not treat her like she is.
Instead love her culture, learn about her history, learn her language,be accepting of it even if you do not agree with it or find some of it strange. Remember, your own culture is not perfect either and there are pockets of your culture that I m sure you are ashamed of as well. If you want to have a successful inter-cultural relationship then, you must be able to let go of your cultural prejudices and respect all cultures (note just cause you do not like it, don't treat it as wrong, unless it is imposed on you and restricts your rights or person).
Hopefully this has helped you or has been an interesting read.
If you do find your future mrs and need help bringing her back with you to Australia give my mrs' a call her details are in the about the author section and all through this website.